Back in 2015 (which was my first year of blogging) there was a quaint little tag that went around called the Memory Nest tag. (You can see my original post here.) For this tag you had to list five things that started with "When I grow up and have my own house..." It was a fun little tag, and in trying to come up with a new post idea recently, I thought why not revisit that post and add some updates to it now that I have "grown up" and actually do have "my own house"?
It is my sincere hope that you will all gain much wisdom and insight from this post. (And if not wisdom...and if not insight...well then, perhaps a bit of entertainment at least.)
(Original answers in black, comments on those answers in blue.)
1. When I grow up and have my own house...I'm going to stop eating so much sugar because I just know that having my own house is going to magically give me the discipline which I now lack. (And until that happy time comes, I'll enjoy my cookie--because I deserve it for making such a noble resolution.)
1. Resolution? Pray tell, what is a resolution? Discipline? Prithee grant me pardon, but I comprehend not such language as this! My dear former self, what sort of thought didst enter thy brain at that time? Consuming less sugar? Why, tis an impossibility, and certainly not a goal thou wouldst strive for with any real degree of commitment. I know thee too well to believe such a horrendous thing of thee. And no...having your own home makes no difference whatsoever.
2. When I grow up and have my own house...I'm going to have lots and lots of children. And I'm going to handle all the chaos with grace and ease...and even ENJOY it! I can see myself now: pulling a pan of well-baked bread out of the oven, while balancing my one-year-old girl on my hip, and calling to my little son to "wait a moment! Mommy will be right there." Oh! such bliss! No, I'm serious! I like the feeling of being a busy, bustling housewife, with so many things to do!
2. Yes, indeed. Thou truly doth regard with bliss the thought of bustling about thine house with so many things to do and so many children to take care of...but my dear girl! In all practicality--and facing reality--thou hast but one child even now and what sort of state dost thou find thyself in? A fully functional, thriving, and joyful one? No, methinks not. Thou lovest thy child, but thou dost not always love all the work he doth demand of thee. Oh fickle, fickle woman.
Baby crying and calling for your attention for the hundredth time...
3. When I grow up and have my own house...everything will be in spotless order, because I can't stand a messy house. My children won't have trouble picking up after themselves because they will only have one toy a piece. It's simpler that way. (Just kidding. I'm not that cruel.)
3. We knowest not yet how thy children shall be in straightening up after themselves, but dear Miss March...there is much to be said for thy record. In general, yea, thy house is quite neat, but yet there is room for improvement. Thy closet? Thy baby's closet? All those dishes in the sink? That inch thick layer of dust upon thy furniture? Tsk, tsk. Teach thyself to be orderly and then worry about thy children.
4. When I grow up and have my own house...I will get enormous amounts of writing and housework done all in the space of time designated for my children's afternoon naps. (Don't ask me how.)
4. One word...
Mwahahahaha!!!
5. When I grow up and have my own house...I'll probably faint from exhaustion.
5. Either that or weep many tears which is more thy style when thou art fatigued.
The End
Note: I wrote this post several weeks ago. At that time I was just getting through the early weeks of being a new mom (which weren't easy, let me tell you!) and so my humor found vent in laughing at the overly emotional state I had lately been in. I am happy to report that things have been much better recently. Baby is sleeping quite well at night, and I am therefore getting much more rest which is a must for me if I want to be any sort of good company. I have also learned that every time Baby cries it does not mean that he is starving (or even that he is hungry, believe it or not)! Sometimes...as my husband so kindly reminds me...he just cries because...he's a baby! ;)