"I Have a Plan"

 

You have a plan?  Oh, no!  Not again, Miss March.

What do you mean not again?  It's a very good plan.

Oh, I'm sure it is, but is it the same plan you had last month, and the month before that, and the month before that?
I do not follow you.  Of which plan are you talking?

Oh, you know!  The regular one.  The plan for turning over a new leaf.  For becoming responsible and productive.  Rising early.  Getting loads of work done.  Wasting less time.  Exercising...

Exercising does not feature in this plan.

Ah-ha!  Too much for you, eh?

Not at all.  It's just that I already have an exercise routine--and have had one for years--so there was no need to add one to this new plan.

An exercise routine?  You??  Who do you think you're fooling?
I resent that.   If you can't mind your manners and be polite I'm going to have to ask you to leave.

Okay, I apologize.  No offense.
Offense taken.

Come!  You needn't be so sensitive about it.   I understand perfectly. Exercising is a complicated matter.  The only moderately consistent form of exercise you've ever done is to walk up and down the trail behind your house, and it is obvious that the weather plays a significant role in the practicality of that form of excursion.

Exactly so.  Quite right.  (You have more sense than I gave you credit for.)

Thank you.  Of course I do.   But honestly, everybody knows the weather conditions must be favorable for a walk.  You can't take a walk in three feet of snow, you know.  That would be ridiculous.
Precisely.

And the fact that there isn't any snow on the ground at the present moment really has nothing to do with it.  Now does it?

I detect a hint of sarcasm in that remark, and I have a feeling you will not be silenced until I give you proof of my current exercise routine.

Proof?  What do I need of proof?  I already know what your current exercise routine is.  Here, let me tell you.

 

 

Miss March's Exercise Routine:

 

In the Winter:  I need to exercise!  I'm getting far too lazy and fat.  It's too cold to do it now, of course, but in the summer I'm going to go on walks every single day!

 

In the Summer: Who could ever stand to walk in such heat?!  Walking in the winter would be much better than walking in the summer.  Sure, it's cold then, but at least you can bundle up and get warm by walking.  In the summer one wants to be cool.  Walking would never help to accomplish that.  In fact, I think fall would be the best time to walk.  Yes.  I'm sure it would.  I'll begin exercising in the fall.

 

In the Fall: Just as soon as the corn is cut down I'm going to start walking regularly.  It's too claustrophobic on the trail just now.  After the harvest it will be better.

 

In the Winter: Oh my!  Where has the time gone?  It's winter already!   Well, as I've said before no one could be expected to take regular walks in such freezing temperatures as this.  I know summer will be a better time.   I know it.  I'll start my new exercise routine when it gets warmer.

There.  What do you say to that?

You're cruel.

I know.  'And it makes me feel good ALL OVER.'

Stop quoting movies and pay attention.  I was talking about my new plan.

Oh, right.  I forgot.  How silly of me.  You don't want to talk about exercise anymore?
No.  I want to talk about my new plan.
Right.  Fire away.  ...Oh, but one question.  This is a new plan, isn't it?

"Shh.  Be quiet and let me talk."

"Alriiiight.  You needn't get huffy."

"Thank you.  As I was saying.  I have a plan.  And it's a very good one, too.  I've decided that I have not been using my time wisely, and so here's the deal: I'm going to turn over a new leaf.  I'm going to be productive and get a lot of things done every day.  I'm going to start getting up earlier and pursuing more varied activities and projects.  I spend too much time on the computer..."

...which is why you are sitting in front of it right now, and have been for the past three or four hours...

 

Would you be quiet?  I am attempting to say something.

 

'Well, you can say anything you like because nobody's listening.'

Where are you pulling all those quotes from?  Do you have a list or something?

'That...would seem to be...the mystery.'

Is there no way to turn you off?

Nope.

Grr.  I'm not talking to you anymore.

Suit yourself.

People of the blogging world, I address myself to you.  This is my little plan.

 

 

Miss March's Plan for Turning Over a New Leaf:

 

1. Get up at 6:30, or thereabouts.  (Notice she said 'thereabouts'.  That's important, people.  *wink*)

2. Chores and laundry and household responsibilities must not be neglected.  (Very sound advice, Miss March.  I hope you profit by it.)

3. Set aside mornings for computer work, and don't let it run into the afternoons.  (Don't cross your fingers, folks.  You don't want them to get stuck that way.)

4. Aim for publishing at least one blog post a week.  (What a tragedy!)

5. Don't waste time looking at random things on the internet while waiting for writing inspiration.  If you can't think of anything to write, just get off the computer.  (Hey!  That's a good one.  Just the sort of advice you need, Miss March.)

6. Write out an official book list and start reading more regularly.  ('The improvement of her mind by extensive reading.'  Very good.  She could use the improvement.)

7. Set aside a half-hour each day to work on writing a story.  (It's a fun thing to think about anyway...)
8. Try to be more intentional about spending time with your siblings.  (Oh!  Poor siblings.)
9. Don't stress out if you can't manage to accomplish all these things consistently.  (Well!  That's one way to get yourself off the hook.)
10. Find out how to turn off the second voice in your head so you can write something intelligent next time.  (Ha! Just try it!)