A few words to the people of Candleford and Lark Rise {Season 1}

Warning: There will be sarcasm.



Miss Lane,

If you get that tragic, suffering look in your eye one more time I may just have to come over there and shake you.  You've had more than four years to realize that the love you lost, truly is lost.  Regret isn't going to change a thing.  So do try and get over it.  And if the memories really are as painful to you as all that, why don't you try distancing yourself from them a bit?  Like, uh...not spending so much time with a certain person, perhaps?   I know.  It's a long shot.  But it just might do the trick.

Thomas,
I'm afraid you missed all the verses on humility in your previous readings of the Bible.  Why not try reading it through a bit more thoroughly next time?  Who knows?  You might learn something.  Also do try and relax.  You get far too tense and uptight about things.  I'm sure it is not good for your health. 

Mrs. Arless,
How ever did you end up with a son so responsible as Alf?  (Just wondering.)

Laura,

I suggest that you stop bobbing your head about so much.  You might make yourself dizzy.

Mr. Timmins,
I love the way you have of always making people feel so comfortable together.  Like the time your daughter had her young man over for dinner for the first time.   Oh!  You outdid yourself.  What pleasant conversation you are capable of making.  And that grumpy look you had on your face the whole time?  What utter charm! 

Mrs. Timmins,
Keep driving your point home.  It's not a lost cause.  One of these days others are going to realize, just like you do, that children "have to eat."   I mean, naturally, it's an idea which wouldn't occur to most people, so keep spreading the message.  They'll understand one day.

Twister,
Don't forget, "A penny saved is a penny earned."  (Somehow I think all of that just went over your head.)

Alf Arless,
Next time don't tell your siblings where you've hidden your earnings.  Obviously they are not to be trusted with such a secret.  Oh!  And don't pine over Laura.  You're too good for her anyway.

Mister Philip What's-your-name,
The way you skulk about and pop around corners with that self-satisfied grin on your face is really quite disconcerting.  Not to mention creepy.  I suggest you try a new approach.  It would improve your appearance tremendously. 

Queenie,
Indulging superstitious notions does not become you.  Please stop it.

To the Misses Pratt: Ladies,
Your sense of style is so very...um...interesting.  I do wonder that the good ladies of Candleford trust you to design their clothing, though.  In fact, I find it quite curious.

Sir Timothy,
Aww.  Did you lose your favorite wittle tree?  Dear, dear.  How very sad.  :(   Still it was a novel idea to go and seek sympathy from Miss Lane.  She always understands.  And your timing, sir, was impeccable!  The way you brought the subject up with your wife standing right beside you was brilliant, man, brilliant.  Your subtlety knows no bounds! 

Lady Adelaide,
Mostly I just feel sorry for you.  But I do have one hint to offer.   When your husband's mourning over his dead tree, do try and be a little sympathetic and not so high-flyingly cheerful, okay?  Because husbands and wives really ought to be an emotional support to one other in such trying times.

Mr. James Delafield,
You move too fast, man.  You move too fast.  No one falls in love that quickly.  Still, I suppose we ought to cut you some slack.  After all, your time was limited.

Come, Miss Lane, don't look so sad.  Think of it!  You now have the pleasure of being tragic over two lost suitors.  That ought to be enough for anyone.