Friday, July 15, 2016

In which I go out on a limb and share part of one of my stories with you


Yes, dear people.  Let's get our solemn faces on, for this could very well prove disastrous.

Okay, I guess I really shouldn't say "part of one of my stories", as this is in reality the "whole" of it.  You see, I don't actually write stories, I write scenes.  Scenes which I later read over and over again hoping that by some miracle they will turn themselves into a story before my eyes (a method of writing which has not proved altogether successful, I must say). 
 
Anyhow, the other  day I got this idea for a scene, and after enjoying it very much in the writing, I began to wonder, "Would anyone else find this sort of thing interesting?  Am I in any way capable of creating characters that people want to know more about?"  Having a good many doubts on that score, I thought perhaps I would share it with all of you and see what you make of it.   And this is where I go out on a limb...because, frankly, it's a very difficult thing for me to share my stories with other people.  Why? Well, because.  "Sink me, m'dear, I'm far too embarrassed." 

But today I have decided to be brave.  So here it is, and if you think it's perfectly awful that's okay.  It's not as if it's some major work which I've been pouring myself into for the past decade.  If it's a dud...well, it's dud.  Please excuse any mistakes, inaccuracies, misspellings, misuse of words, and the like.  I've read over this so many times now, I'm almost certain there's a mistake in it somewhere.  But I haven't time to belabor the point, so -gulp- here we go.

(Oh! And for a little background.  The two girls in this passage have been friends since childhood, and are now college roommates.  It takes place back in the early 60's or somewhere there about.) 
 
***** 

"I could set you up a blind date for Saturday," Rosa said nonchalantly, peering at herself in the mirror, and picking microscopic lint balls off her starched collar.
     "Why?" Nancy asked innocently, looking up from her desk by the window, where she sat working on a paper for her English class.
     "Why not?  It would be fun!"  Rosa smiled cheerily at Nancy's reflection in the mirror.
     "Awkward more like," came the stolid reply.  "I already have a boyfriend."
     "Oh, that's right.  Billy.  What a bore," Rosa cast a disgruntled look at her own reflection as if it were Billy standing there and not her.   "I forgot about him."
     "No you didn't!" Laughed Nancy.  "You can't forget a guy like Billy that easily." 
     "Mores the pity.  It's not as if I haven't tried," Rosa said, drearily. 
     "And he's not a bore, either," Nancy continued, turning back to her paper with a funny little grin on her face.
     "Isn't he?  Honestly, Nan, you've been dating him since high school.  What does he ever do but get up every morning at 7:00, go to work--at a drugstore, no less--come home and play basketball with your brother--which consists of them barking at each other the whole time because they can never agree who's playing fair and who isn't--and then going home and eating his dinner--with a relish--and hopping over to your house in the evening to watch Father Knows Best or The Andy Griffith Show...and eat more food.  Or, if his favorite shows aren't on television that evening, talking endlessly about his car and all that junk till you're blue in the face.  If that's not a bore, what is?"
     Nancy must have found this description of her "beloved" quite amusing, for she smiled broadly throughout the whole of Rosa's tirade, and then chuckled something about Billy certainly liking his food...but didn't all boys?
     "Nan, I'm serious.  Don't you ever wonder what it would be like to date someone else?"
     "No.  Why should I?"  And she truly looked as if it were a completely foreign idea to her.
     "Why, because.  Billy's the only one you've ever gone out with (if you can call watching television at your house going out, that is).  How do you know what kind of guy you'd really like unless you spend time with different ones?  I don't mean you have to go from boy to boy, but honestly it's a shame you've never actually been asked out on a date by anyone.  Billy's been your friend and neighbor since you were ten, and your boyfriend since you were fifteen.   I don't think he's ever actually asked you out on a date at all.  You just sort of fell into the relationship.  Totally unromantic, in my opinion."
     Nancy shrugged, as if to say, "Who cares about romance?" and still smiling sweetly replied, "What does that matter?  I don't care what I do with Billy.  I just like being with him.  Because he's the dearest, sweetest, most adorable person ever."
     "Well, he certainly fooled me," Rosa huffed, turning back to the mirror, and beginning a survey of her hair, trying to decide how best to fix it for the evening. 
     She was a curious sort of girl, Rosa.  Such a confused mixture of teasing and utter seriousness, that it was often hard to know where the one left off and the other began.  But it was obvious enough from her words that she really did have a very low opinion of Billy Myer and in fact considered him altogether unworthy to be the steady boyfriend for her "darling Nan." 
     "Nancy, really.  How do you know there isn't someone better for you out there?  Someone more exciting?  More gentlemanly?  More romantic?" 
     "Well, if you're going to take that view of things, you'll never be satisfied with anyone.  I can't date every single man in the whole wide world, you know.  Why would I waste my time looking for some unknown man, who might be better, when I like Billy well enough and he's right here?"  Oh the simplicity of the question.  Why indeed?  And yet, Rosa--that unfailing romantic idealist--couldn't see the sense in it at all.
     "Exactly," she cried, spinning around and pointing her hair brush in Nancy's direction, as if she were a teacher directing orders to her class.  "That's the whole problem.  It's the convenience of it.  You won't even take the risk of finding someone better.  Yours and Billy's relationship is just too comfortable." 
     "Can you be too comfortable with the man you intend to spend the rest of your life with?"  Nancy asked, with a mischievous twinkle in her eye, knowing full well what Rosa's reaction to this remark would be.  And oh! she was by no means disappointed.
     "What? No!" Rosa, gasped, clutching her hairbrush to her heart as if it were her only protection against the shock of this mind-boggling news.  "It hasn't come to that, has it?  Oh!  Spare me!!  You aren't seriously talking about getting married, are you?"
     Nancy fell back in her chair, laughing.  She did so like to shock Rosa every now and then.  It was a most amusing pastime. 
     "Please tell me it isn't so," wailed Rosa, dramatically.
     "Oh, I think we've always known we would get married eventually," Nancy replied, in a most provokingly calm voice.  "Billy wants to save up a good amount of money first, though..."
     "On his paycheck?  That could take centuries."
     "...and of course I need to finish school," she concluded, ignoring the interruption.
     "Ohhh!"  Rosa groaned, putting her hand to her forehead as if she were about to faint.  "The utter insipidity of it all.  How can this be happening?  I mean, of course you want to be comfortable with the man you marry, but you and Billy? You're just too...I don't know.  You and Billy.  You've known each other forever, and you're so used to each other.  How do you know you're not just dating him because it's the expected thing?" Rosa paused, and the drama seeped out of her voice, as her brow contracted into a highly concerned and serious frown.  "How can you be sure he's the best man for you unless you date some other guys first?"
     "What?" Nancy choked down another laugh at the absurdity of such a question.  "You mean I have to spend time with another guy in order to know whether I like Billy?  Think about it, Rosa.  That doesn't make a whole lot of sense."
     "Oh, but it does," Rosa persisted. "Until you see what other guys are like, you don't know what you're missing.  Maybe there's a man out there who will actually make your heart flip, and your stomach fill with butterflies, and...Billy doesn't do that to you, does he?"
     "Well..."
     "I knew it!!"
     "Well, actually, it's never been my opinion that love consists of flipping hearts and fluttering stomachs, so I can't say that sort of thing really matters to me that much.  I've always considered that love comes from having a deep and personal knowledge of the other person's character and personality.  Until you really understand and know a person, you can't truly love them, now can you?"
     "Right.  So tell me why you like Billy again?  Because honestly, I'd think a closer knowledge of Billy's character would turn you off to him completely."
     "Maybe a closer knowledge than what you've got, but go a step further than that and he's alright again," Nancy said with a wink.  "With some people you have to go about three or four levels of deepness before you really know what they're like."
     "I don't think Billy has any deepness."
     Nancy giggled.  "I'll tell him you said that.  He'll find that quite humorous."
     "I bet he will.  Is there anything Billy doesn't find humorous?"
     "Missing a meal, for one.  Or having his food get cold because some neighbor lady had a question for his mom (they're not allowed to eat in their house until everyone is seated around the table, you know).  Oh!  That and having Lily's cat jump on his lap.  He abhors cats."
     "Oh, I give up," Rosa sighed, defeated, throwing herself onto the bed, and forgetting all about her recent primping in front of the mirror, as she rumpled her dress and hair most dreadfully; making the hard labor of the past hour all but wasted.  "You don't know what you're missing, but go ahead and have your old humdrum life, if you want it.  As for me, I'm not settling for some namby-pamby old bore.  If I can't love my man passionately--flipping hearts and fluttering stomachs and everything--it's a no go.  I'd far rather remain single than go into marriage with a man who thinks of nothing but cars and food and whatnot.  That's not my idea of a soul mate."
     "Of course it isn't," Nancy said, sympathetically.  "And I'd never want you to settle for someone you didn't love.  But, maybe we just have different ideas of what being passionately in love looks like.  I love Billy, and I always will.  And for your information, though I hate to admit this to you, he does give me butterflies in my stomach sometimes."
     Rosa rolled her eyes.  "Oh, groan.  I don't believe it.  Billy couldn't give any girl butterflies, even if he tried to be charming." 

 
*****
 
Okay, so reading over this again, it's striking me as rather lame, but perhaps that's only because I've been reading it too much.  Anyway, I still very much want to know what you think of it, so tell me...
 
Did this random scene spark your interest or imagination in any way?
Do you think this is leading to Nancy finding a more romantic hero, or remaining with Billy?  (Just curious.) 
Do you have any curiosity to know what happens next?
Or did you find this completely boring and not worth worrying about at all? (If so, I don't blame you. ;))
 
Well, that's all.  I realize now this was really quite long.  Sorry about that.  But thanks for taking the time to read it.

(And now I shall go and pretend I do not exist, because I know the embarrassment is just about to set in.  ;))
 

41 comments:

  1. MISS MARCH.

    Like. What. What even. This was great, dear friend!!! I honestly enjoyed it SO much. And I insist that you write more. Or at least tell me what you think happens. Because I need to know. You've put me in suspense now.

    Hmm. Let me answer your questions.
    Yes, it certainly sparked my interest! :)
    I'm thinking Nan will remain from Billy (whom I really want to know more about. Is he actually a wonderfully caring and nice guy or is he as boring as Rachel thinks?).
    YES. I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT.
    It was not completely boring. AT ALL. Seriously, please don't be embarrassed! I loved this. It's better than some "real", published books I've read! I love your style and how easily the dialogue and narration flow along seamlessly.

    You must finish this story, Miss March. Or at least give us another section to read. Pretty please. :)

    (And, just in case you thought I was saying all this just because we're friends, I truly did love this. You have a talent for writing. You DO.)

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    1. Oh! Dear, dear Natalie! I don't know what to say. Your comment made my day. (And no I wasn't aiming for a rhyme there, honestly I wasn't. Haha). Seriously, I'm so overwhelmed, and happy, that you actually LIKED this. And I do want to write more. (Only I'm not keeping my fingers crossed, because my stories have never yet gone beyond the thinking stage.) :P

      Haha. To own the truth, I was trying to make this snippet somewhat confusing so no one would know who Nancy ends up with; or rather that they would think she ends up with someone other than Billy. But...haha...I guess I'm too obvious. Yes, it's Billy and Nan all the way. And oh! Do you really want to know more about him? *big huge grin* That makes me oodles of happy, because to tell you the truth I sort of fell in love with Billy while writing this scene. That may sound silly, but I've got an idea of him in my head, and he's perfectly lovable. (Ahem. To me, anyway.) ;)
      Oh! I'm so encouraged to hear that this had a seamless flow to it. That's what I struggle with a lot, feeling that my writing sounds disjointed and awkward. Thank you so much, dear friend. :)

      Okay, so now I REALLY want to write this story. (You're giving me WAY too much encouragement here.) I will try and see what I can do about sharing another section with you sometime...if I ever write more. ;)

      (Awww. *blushes* Thanks, Natalie. That means a lot to me.)

      Thank you soooooo much for your comment!!! :D

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    2. Heehee! You see, you are a poet, and you did not know it. ;) (That's a quote from "The Scarlet Pimpernel". Have you read or watched that?)

      Aww. -hugs- It was indeed so splendid and YES please DO write more!
      I do know what you mean about stories that don't go beyond the thinking stage. But then, I think some stories just aren't meant to go beyond certain stages. When I was 14 or so I had a story that I absolutely LOVED and was positive I would actually finish. Well, I didn't. Looking back, it was a horrible story, although I do still love the characters. Regardless, I feel that that story DID teach me some things regarding writing. Things I wouldn't have learned if I hadn't started and abandoned that story!

      Yes, pleeeasse. I'm starting to have this idea in my mind of what Billy is like and what an interesting person he is under the surface and...well, I really want to hear more about him and find out if I'm picturing him "correctly". (And heehee, nothing is silly about falling in love with your own fictional characters. I do it all the time. haha!)

      Not at all! Your writing is very graceful and flowing. :)

      Haha! Good! I'll just keep giving you more encouragement until you do write the story! :D

      You are so very welcome, dear friend. Thank YOU for being brave and sharing your writing with us!!

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    3. Oh, yes! We have both the book and the movie. And we quote that line all the time! ;D

      Thanks for sharing that. Yes, I suppose there are some stories which were never meant to be finished. But you can certainly still learn things--and improve your writing--even with an unfinished project.

      Oh! You are making me SO much want to write more! Because now I want to find out whether you're picturing him "correctly", too. :) (And haha, I know you fall in love with your characters! coughcough-henryandarthur-coughcough It's really fun, though. I like to love my characters.)

      Thank you. That is so good to know, because after reading my writing over and over again it really is impossible for me to know for sure whether it has a nice flow, or quite the reverse. :) So getting the opinion of someone else--who isn't constantly in the editing mode--is very helpful. :)

      Oh, you're welcome. And thank YOU for receiving it so kindly. I really am glad I shared it now, because it has encouraged me very much to continue writing. :)

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    4. :D It's such a great story! Glad you've read/seen it, too!

      You're welcome. :)

      YES. I'm succeeding! Haha. ;) Please do write more someday (soon).
      (Heehee, cough cough, you know me too well. ;) But yes, me too!)

      I was amazed by how much my love and inspiration for my story surged after sharing it with my blog readers, so I'm glad I could do the same for you! Keep writing, Miss March! You definitely have talent. :D

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    5. Yes it is! I haven't read the book in a long while, though. I really should read it again. :)

      Ha! You're right, you really are succeeding! My mind is now going round and round with ideas, trying to piece together a cohesive story. And I want SO badly to write it! ;)
      (Haha. Well, I admit it wasn't very hard to discern your preference for those two...but anyway, who wouldn't love them? ;))

      Aww. THANK YOU, Natalie! You're so sweet! :D

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    6. Really?! Yay!! Keep mulling over those ideas! I'm SURE you'll find a story-worthy idea (maybe you already found it) someday soon. :)

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    7. Thanks, Natalie! You're so encouraging!! :)

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  2. I was instantly engaged!! How very brave of you to share some of your work. Though, I hope you aren't influenced to much by everyone's opinions. That might be an overload! :D

    I got a good idea of both the girls as well as a fairly decent idea of Billy. Would it be very horrible of me to hope that Nancy finds a man outside of Billy? To answer your question, I think the scene is leading to Nancy staying with Billy but for my part, and judging from this scene, I'm rooting for a mystery man. I'm not one entirely driven by flipping stomach and butterflies but I don't think I want to be as comfortable as Billy seems to make things. It is just one scene though.

    I have extreme curiosity for more, if you dare share!!! The style flows well, and your turn of phrase was smooth and excellent!

    Capital, Miss March! Capital!! ;D

    ~Cordy

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    1. Goodness. CORDY! Your comment made me SO happy!!! :D I'm rather blown away, but entirely pleased, that you found this interesting! I really was so nervous sending it out in to the world. ;)

      Haha. No, it's not horrible of you at all. In fact, I'm rather glad you feel that way because I was sort of trying to make Billy appear unappealing in this section...and I guess I succeeded? Haha. You are right, though. It is my intention for Billy and Nancy to end up together. Do you want to know what my inspiration for creating a character like Billy is? Well, if you've ever read romance novels, you may have noticed that oftentimes the heroine is engaged to another guy before she meets the hero. And when this is the case, the other guy is almost always described as a very boring person, lacking in personality and feeling, and just altogether blah. I guess that angle irks me sometimes because nobody in real life is a cardboard character. There's something interesting about every single person. And so I decided I wanted to create a character that could easily be "that boring old boyfriend", but who would actually end up being the hero of the story. Not because he changes and becomes like your typical hero, but because you get to know who he really is. (I hope that makes sense.)

      Aww. Really? *grins* I'd love to share more with you...if only I can get myself to write it. :P Thank you SO much, Cordy! I can't tell you how much your comment encouraged and delighted me!! You're such a dear friend.

      (Haha. Is that a Pride and Prejudice quote I see?)

      Thanks again, Cordy! Your comment seriously made my day a whole lot better!! :D

      ~Miss March

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    2. I relate to the nervousness! :P Awful thing, isn't it? Could 100% do without it, couldn't you? Haha.

      Whew, okay. :) Yes, it was well done because I was struggling to like Billy but ONLY because I liked Nancy and wanted her to end up with 'the right guy'. You know? And as she seemed to SEE something in him, I tried to root for him, but I'm afraid I would be the Rosa in the situation. Haha.

      I think that's a great angle! I know what you mean. To make the 'new man' better for the heroine, the guy she's with has to be ALL WRONG. So, I can see why it's frustrating. (You know what would be really funny is turning the tables and making Rosa like him. Hahaha. Although, that would be hard on Nancy :( it would be funny for Rosa.) And you're right, it's not realistic to think the girl would original like a guy who was so lame in the first place. I like your attacking this stereotype!

      Well, what are you waiting for? Go for it!! :D I believe in you, Miss March!!!!!!!!!

      (Yes, I believe so, I believe so. ;D)

      Good! I love it when I can do that for someone! And for a friend, better and better!!

      ~Cordy

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    3. I hope you don't mind my chiming in really quick. I just had to say that I, like Cordy, love that you're trying this "typical" kind of story from a different angle. I do love some stories where the girl finds a different guy from her "original", but your point about nobody being boring is really great. I love heroes that appear rather "blah" at first and then turn out to be really amazing heroes. :)

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    4. Cordy: Oh it is! And yes, we could certainly--100% plus 100%--do without it! Haha.

      Would it be very unfeeling of me to say that I'm rather delighted by your struggle to like Billy for Nancy's sake? Haha. I mean, I'm sorry I created a hero that you have to struggle to like, but I'm flattered that you liked Nancy enough that you felt you should at least try to like her boyfriend, too. ;) Haha. It's okay if you're the Rosa in the situation. After all, Rosa needs someone who can relate to her, too. :)

      "To make the 'new man' better for the heroine, the guy she's with has to be ALL WRONG." Exactly. Yup. And that just gets my back up sometimes. Because a hero should be good enough in himself, without depending on everyone around him looking bad. :P (Haha. Yeah, wow. That really would be a switch up! Rosa and Billy? Goodness. Not sure Rosa would find that very amusing. Haha. ;)) Thanks. I sort of like attacking stereotypes. It's the overused storylines and situations that really bug me after awhile.

      Oh, Cordy. Thanks for having so much faith in me. You really are making me think I could do this...

      (Haha! Answering a question about a quote with a quote! That's perfect!) Thank you for your comment, Cordy!

      Natalie: Oh, no problem. I'm glad you chimed in. :) Thank you so much for your thoughts on the matter. And yes, I think it's cool, too, for the hero to appear "blah" at first and then turn out to be really nice. That's not a very common scenario, and I like uncommon scenarios. :D

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    5. Miss March,
      Glad you didn't mind. :)

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  3. Ohhhh, Miss March!! This was quite good, and now I'm dying to know what happens! To answer your other questions, I think that yes, Nancy will end up with Billy, but maybe he'll do something wonderful and romantic. :) This definitely has roused my curiosity and I would love to know what happens to them. You have a knack for writing realistically enough--vividly enough--that I can't help wonder what happens next.
    (One thing I noticed, and this is not a big thing, is that you sometimes said Rosa and sometimes Rachel. Am I missing something or did you change the name or something but miss some of them?)
    This was really captivating. Honestly, with how well you write you don't need to be embarrassed about it! :)

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    1. Aww, Rae. Thank you SO much! I can't tell you how happy it makes me to hear that you actually WANT to know what happens! Honestly, I really was quite worried that no one would find it interesting. :P

      (Oh dear. I had a feeling I might have done that! No, you didn't miss anything. Clearly it was I who missed something. Heehee. ;) Yes, I was working on changing the name from Rachel to Rosa, and must have gotten distracted towards the end. Thank you so much for pointing that out to me. I've gone back and corrected it. Hopefully I got all of them this time. :))

      Thank you so much for your sweet comment, friend. It encouraged me greatly. And thanks for answering the question about whether Nancy and Billy get together in the end. It's really quite interesting to know what sort of impression I gave with this snippet. (Now, should I tell you whether your guess was correct or not? Or should I be mean and keep it a secret? ;))

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  4. Haha, yeah, I've done that too. Find and replace in Microsoft Word (and I'm pretty sure Google Docs has it too but I don't use that as much) has helped me a lot with that.
    No, don't tell if there's any chance chance you might share more with us. If not, though, then I want to know. ;)

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    1. I've never heard of the "find and replace" thing in Microsoft Word. How does it work? Does that mean you can select the word you want replaced and it will replace it throughout the entire document? If so, that's pretty cool.

      Well, seeing that this is all I've written, and may be all I ever write considering my past record, I'll just tell you. Your guess was correct...only I won't say Billy does anything wonderful or romantic, because I really haven't decided what he's going to do yet. Haha. I just know I wanted to create a character who appears boring on the outside but has a lot more to him than most people would think. Or simply prove a point that "boring" and "unromantic" isn't always a bad thing...if you know what I mean. :)

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  5. Hahaha. That first picture. :D

    This was very good, Miss March! I LOVE dialogue, and considering this is mostly dialogue - well! It's just my cuppa tea. :D It reminded me a little of a scene (or maybe it was a couple of scenes) in "An Old Fashioned Girl" by L.M. Alcott, between Fanny and Polly. Hehe.

    Oh, and I suppose I must answer your questions... WELL.
    Yes, it did spark my interest! I guess ONE thing that would have made it a leetle more interesting (although I'm not saying it wasn't - I just mean, to improve it a tiny bit :)) would be to shorten it a little, since Rosa does repeat herself quite a lot. But no, it DID spark my interest! :D
    Nope, Nancy is DEFINITELY not going to get another boyfriend. Billy is all she needs, and she seems like one determined little lady.
    Yeah... I'm interested to hear what Rosa does with herself. :P
    CERTAINLY NOT!

    ~Miss Meg

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    1. Thank you, Miss Meg!! I'm glad you like dialogue, because to be honest that's about all I write. I'm pretty horrible when it comes to descriptions and moving the story along from one scene to another, so I fall back on making the characters talk, and end it there. :) Did it really? Aww. That's a compliment. I love Louisa May Alcott, and I've always thought I would probably lean toward her style of writing.

      Thanks for the pointer about shortening it. I believe you have hit on one of my weakest--of many--weak points. Conciseness. I definitely need to work on that. I have a tendency to get too wordy and not know how to draw things to a close. Thanks for bringing that to my attention again. That was very helpful. :)
      Haha. I guess it is rather obvious, isn't it? Thanks for your vote of confidence in Billy being the one for Nancy. Also thank you for describing Nancy as a "determined little lady". I think you just helped me get to know her character a bit better! :)

      Thank you so much for your interest, Miss Meg! You girls are really inspiring me, and now I very much want to write more! :D

      ~Miss March

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  6. I'm interested in this scene! Lively and believable conversation! I love the point about marrying your best friend. I identify with that, so I identify with the scene, if that makes sense. I like that you're showing two sides of the argument.

    I'm trained as an editor. May I offer you a (slight) suggestion? Not to take away from your talent, but to help stir it to even greater heights? You use a lot of adverbs: "Rosa smiled [cheerily]." That's a big no-no if you're writing to submit your work for publication. You can use a few, when the scene won't work without them, but generally you want to cut as many of those as you can, and let the scene itself, and the dialogue, "show" the reader that Rosa is cheery. This allows the reader's imagination to be engaged, so he or she is not being "told" the character is smiling cheerily, but imagining through subtext/implication within the scene that Rosa must not only be smiling, but smiling cheerily.

    Does that make sense? Please don't be offended I'd offer constructive criticism. I wouldn't waste my time if I thought it might not be useful. Lots of love, and above all, happy writing! Even if you choose to use plenty of adverbs!

    I identify with your "I write scenes" thing, by the way. Me too!

    Love, Jill

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    1. Aww. Thank you, Jillian. That is so encouraging!! And I'm glad you can identify with this. I like it when best friends marry, too. :)

      Oh, no! I'm by no means offended. Thank you! I need to hear more constructive criticism, because at this point I'm really rather bad at receiving it (I mean, I even get discouraged if someone mentions a typo in my writing! Haha). No, but what you said was not actually too surprising to me, because I've noticed before that I have a tendency to use too many descriptive words. Thanks for reminding me of that, so I can be more aware of it for next time! :D

      Lots of love to you, too, Jill! Thank you SO much for commenting. I'm just blown away by how encouraging everyone is. :D

      Love, Miss March :)

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  7. MISS MARCH. MY DARLING PERSON.

    You give yourself far too little credit. That scene was wonderful!!! This might be a problem, but I loved Rosa's dialogue xD Even if I don't agree with her views, per se, she was quite funny, and I think she had the best interests of her friend at heart (more or less).

    I agree with the others in that I'm thinking Billy and Nancy do tie the knot eventually…though I also sort of agree with Cordy in that I'd be interested in seeing her find somebody else :P

    This was very well-written. You have a real knack for dialogue, which I admire greatly. Keep it up! Don't underestimate the gift the Lord has given you :)

    "The utter insipidity of it all…" (I liked that line especially :D)

    Have a great Sunday, dearie!

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    1. Awww. THANK YOU, Olivia! I'm so very happy you think this was good. That means a lot to me! :D

      Haha. No problem at all. I don't exactly agree with Rosa either, but she's a good girl, and you're right, she does have her friend's best interests at heart..."more or less." ;)

      Oh, good. I'm glad some of you feel that way, because now I can have the pleasure of changing your minds--hopefully--by showing you what a dear person Billy is. Heehee. Of course, it may turn out that I'm the only one who really likes him. :P

      Oh, Olivia! Thank you! *hugs* Your comment encouraged me SO much.

      (And oh! I'm really happy you liked that particular line because, well...I was rather pleased with it myself. ;))

      Thanks again, dear friend! Have a wonderful day!! :D

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  8. I finally got to reading this post - AND I LOVE IT!!! I'm so impressed with your writing; it's really good! Now I want to read the rest SO BADLY. SO HURRY UP AND WRITE. :-D :-)

    (Seriously though; I mean it. I want to read more.) (And I LOVE Billy already. I love boys that like eating. :-P)

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    1. Wow, I don't know what to say. I'm so thrilled that you actually want to read more of this!!

      And awww...thanks for loving Billy already!! That makes me SO happy. (You like boys that like to eat? Haha. You're so much fun, Naomi! :D)

      Thank you so much, dear, for your kind words and everything! I think I really must write more of this now. :)

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  9. Oh, Miss March, I LOVE this!! :D It most certainly sparked my interest. I really like the dialogue between the two characters. Light and humorous. Rosa kinda reminds me of Fanny from “An Old Fashioned Girl” ^_^

    Well, from what I read here, I’m going to assume Nancy stays with Billy (who I’ve started to very much like! He sounds like a fun person to be around, as does Nancy! :D)

    Oh, oh, YES I want to know what happens next! You will post more about Rosa and Nancy and Billy, won’t you? You’re not going to leave us all hanging there, are you?!?

    No, absolutely not! I didn’t find this boring at all! Like I said before, I really enjoyed the dialogue. Rosa’s “Drama Queen” spurts were so funny and Nancy’s remarks and teasing topped it off beautifully! :D

    Thank you so much for sharing, Miss March! :)

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    1. Thank you, Blessing!! :D Wow. That's funny. Miss Meg also mentioned "An Old Fashioned Girl". I guess I really must be inspired by Louisa May Alcott. ;)

      Yup, you're right. It's going to be Nancy and Billy to the end. (Oh, yay! Someone who noticed Billy's fun side! *claps hands gleefully* Thank you for that, because I really do hope to make Billy...and Nancy...fun characters, and I'm so glad you noticed that about them already.)

      Haha. Don't worry. If I write more, I will probably share some, because I've been so encouraged by everyone's response, and I find it's fun to talk about my stories. Until then, however, I guess we'll all be left hanging...me included. ;)

      Thank you SO much, Blessing! Your comment made me happy, happy, HAPPY! :D

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  10. How brave of you to share your work! I enjoyed it very much. You have a kind of classic, old-soul style of writing. It's really neat.

    I think Nancy probably stays with Billy, but I must say that barring the pushiness, I was much on Rosa's side. This Billy seems a little too comfortable with where he is. But I like that at the same time he isn't ROTTEN. Just not ROMANTIC :)

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    1. Thanks, Rosie!! :D "You have a kind of classic, old-soul style of writing." Aww. Thank you! That's about the nicest compliment you could have given me. I've always wanted to have an old-fashioned style of writing. :)

      Oh, goody!! I love it that some people are siding with Nancy staying with Billy and others want her to find someone else. This is so much fun! Hmmm...yes, you're probably right. I think Billy is very comfortable with where he is...maybe to a fault...but we'll see how things ends up. Other than knowing that I want Billy and Nancy to end up together, I really have no clear idea what I'll be doing with each character individually.

      Thank you so much for your comment, Rosie! It's always so good to hear from you! :D

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  11. YOU. ARE. REALLY. GOOD!

    Not that I'm surprised or anything. :) I knew you would be. ;)

    I guess I wasn't around when you posted this? I seem to have missed it somehow...

    Anyway, love the feel of this! Like kind of Louisa May Alcott style (which is a huge compliment, by the way, since she's one of my favorite authors)?

    I guess I see where Rosa is coming from. I think you should choose a spouse who pushes and stretches you (one of my favorite examples of this is the doctor from Christy, if you've read that). I think that both people in every relationship should be doing that for each other. Safe, complacent relationships aren't really my thing. :)

    Back to my original point for a moment: you should absolutely turn is into a full-length novel!

    I BELIEVE IN YOU!!!

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    1. *blushes* Aww. Thanks. :)

      You're about the third person who's likened my writing to Louisa May Alcotts! And I totally take that as a compliment, so THANK YOU! :D

      Oh goody! Someone else who's on Rosa's side. I love it! :D Thanks so much for your thoughts on this issue, Kayla. It's giving me new food for thought and inklings of impending inspiration. Seriously. My writer's mind is starting to kick into high gear just reading this. :)

      OH! I really, REALLY want to. I'm just sort of hung up at the moment over what exactly I want the plot to be about. I'm not real good with cohesive plots. :)

      THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! It's awful sweet of you to say that. And thank you for commenting. It was very encouraging to hear your thoughts on this! :D

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    2. Haha, yeah, I noticed (I'm a weird little bean who reads other people's comments???). :)

      We should totally form #TeamNancy and #TeamRosa!!!

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    3. Haha. Not so very weird--or perhaps I'm just weird myself--because I read other peoples comments, too. ;)

      YES! We totally should. (#TeamNancy's gonna win, though! Just sayin'. ;) Heehee.)

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    4. Ha! We are nosy twins! I might've known...

      #TEAMNANCY IS GOING DOWN,Y'ALL!

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    5. Heehee. ;)

      Shh...don't tell the whole world. I must keep it a little bit of a secret. Haha! ;) (Just teasing you.)

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    6. Ohmygoodness!! I just realized I read your comment wrong!! (Seriously, what is up with me?) I read "down" as "win", and thought you were agreeing with me! (Which really doesn't make any sense, now that I come to think about it. Because why in the world would you go and agree with me right after we had just established ourselves on different teams? Really. I don't know what goes on in that brain of mine sometimes. :P)

      Ahem. But now that I am fully aware of what you were actually saying, my reply to you is...

      #TeamNancy is NOT going down!! I'm the author. I make the rules. (So put that in your pipe and smoke it.) Heehee. ;)

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    7. You have a point there, ma'am... Maybe there wil be a twist ending in spite of you??? #TeamRosa

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    8. Humph. I wouldn't bet on it. #TeamNancy. (Haha.)

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