Romantic storytelling in a nutshell

From all the vast exploration and research I've done over the years regarding romance novels and romantic films, I've decided today to provide you with a brief but comprehensive overview of what you can expect to typically find in a story of this nature.  I hope this will prove enlightening and even educational, especially for those of you who wish to pursue a career in romantic storytelling and who are perhaps wondering where to begin and what specific themes to focus on.  Here's a tried and true, never fails, solid check-list for you to go off of. 

You're welcome.

 

~*~

 

The heroine.  Strong, independent, and beautiful.  Also very, very unique.  The hero has never come across such a woman before and neither have you or your readers.  (Just swallow it.)

 

The hero.  A charming and mysterious gentleman.  With a past.  ('Cause yeah, nobody ever had one of those before!  'Twill be a definite page turner!)

The heroine meets the hero.  They have a MAJOR argument and HATE each other very much indeed.  Actually, the heroine only thinks she hates the hero--really she's in love with him...on the spot...just like that...but she won't admit it not even to herself--and as for the hero, he only puts on a front of disliking her...he knows full well he's a goner.  (As well he should be.  For no man can resist the heroine.  No man whatever in the history of...of ever.)

The hero and heroine will remain so-called enemies for as long as they can, but eventually they will  back down and admit their feelings for each other.  Indeed they will.  For they cannot help it.  Fate, people.

And thus, the plot thickens!!

Then come all the ups and downs.  All the miscommunications.  The hurt feelings, followed by beautiful moments of making up--which are however ruined by those extenuating circumstances beyond their control which somehow forever continue to come and joggle and boggle and foggle things up, keeping them from each other until...yeah...*deep sigh of exhaustion*...it's time.  Just get 'em married.

 

And so the wedding bells ring!  Happiness, bliss and happily ever after, until...

Uh oh... 

(Yes, you must always have just one more thing to ruin the happiness of your characters.   This will infuriate your readers to no end, but believe me it must be done.)  (Don't ask.  Just do!)

...of all the tragic, unexpected phenomenon, the hero dies!  (Who would have thought it???!!) 

(Let us have a moment of silence to mourn his untimely departure.)

(Got that out of your system?  Okay, good.  Let's get back to romance.)

*Pause*  But first!  Before the romance, we need to talk baby.  Because our heroine is of course expecting a baby.  Things can't go any other way.  She must and will have a child--and a child who looks just like his daddy and who will forever be a means of connecting her to her dead husband.  (Gotta have it, folks.  That's human interest stuff at it's best.  And your audience will love you forever!) 

 

Now the romance.  (And about time, too.  This story was getting downright boring!)  Enter tall handsome stranger.

Mysterious, handsome stranger, with shady past. (Wait!  Do you get the feeling we've been here before?  You don't think the readers will notice, do you?  NAH!!)

 

Our heroine is not yet ready to love again.  All her friends are very anxious that she should be because...well, good grief!  I DON'T KNOW!  *scratches head in bewilderment*  Forget the whys of it, that's how it is.  Just write it.

 

But whether she's ready to love again or not, one thing is certain, our heroine has not by any means lost her former taste for argument.  In fact, she  has plentiful and heated arguments with the new handsome stranger as soon as he appears on the scene...and the village clerk begins to write up the marriage certificate.   (Or if he doesn't he should.  Because let's face it.  There's no point in delaying the inevitable.  Second marriages will happen whether you want them to or not.)  

 

And so the wedding bells ring once again, and all is happiness and joy!  Only...SHOCKER!  The happiness stays put this time!  (But only because someone finally came to their senses and decided enough was enough.  Thus ending the story and putting us out of our misery.)

 

THE END.